Before marriage nearly 10 months ago, Hubs and I talked a lot about starting a family pretty quickly. Adoption was high on the list of ways to achieve this goal. (And, ahem, the other way as well). We're not sure how successful we'll be with the, ahem, other way, and indeed, international adoption is something we want to do regardless, so we've started the research.
On the internet.
The amount of information one finds on the web is so varied and contradictory and serious that if it were in paper form, it would probably fill an entire bathtub. The circular jacuzzi kind in which you would find Austin Powers soaking. So, I'm overwhelmed. Already. And we just started.
Let me add, I suffer from legaldocumentaphobia, also known as fear of reading legal and extremely boring but important texts. Hubs has done some research on French law--ack--discovering, for one thing, that his government will only consider couples who have been married for two or more years before they will even accept your application. Me, I got through one line of Canadian legalese before hyperventilating.
Here's what I hope as we research away: That we will find a couple who has been and is in exactly the same situation as us and can hold my (our) hand through the process.
Requirements:
Seeking to hire Canadian female married to a French man for less than 1 year, not living in either of their home countries and who have just completed a successful independent international adoption to hold hand of fellow Canadian about to embark on similar journey. Salary commensurate with experience, travel and other expenses covered. Must know how to cope with hyperventilation and be able to endure whining. If adoption successful, may be allowed to hold baby.
Paperwork and scary regulations aside, the actual concept of raising an adopted child isn't overwhelming to me because my brother and sister are adopted and I know how easy it is to bond with a baby that didn't grow in your momma's belly. So, my guess is I'll be able to bond with one that didn't grow in mine. And since babies don't grow in men's bellies, it shouldn't be a problem for Hubs either. What I do fear is the home visit, however. That's when a social worker type person visits you and determines if you'd be good parents. I'll have to clean. And stop picking my nose. And wash my hair.
There are about five million other steps to go through which I'll avoid writing about in one go mainly because I still know piss all. But one thing that might interest you is reading of the restrictions individual countries have for adopting out their children. You know, you got your age restrictions, your salary restrictions, your years of marriage restrictions. Now, here's one that might interest you:
The weight restriction.
That's right. You read right. Did you know that weight is a factor for couples wanting to adopt from Korea? Now at this point, I don't know if this restriction is for a combined weight or individual weight, but what I'm curious about is if the weight is determined by Asian standards, because while I am no skinny minny, I am not exactly large either. I'm somewhere in the middle. Your average Jane. And Hubs is your average Jacques. Yet, when I lived in Japan, I was Queen of the Amazons. Miss Double L size. A monstrousity of hugeness and godzillaism. The kind of person people would flee from in terror.
Sigh.
I guess one thing I am going to have to adopt to get through this process is an attitude. A positive one.
